My Big Mouth

Getty didn't call.

And I should have left it alone ... but didn't. I sent him a text late Tuesday night, "Glad I didn't hold my breath". Why? I'm not sure. Maybe I was upset because I reached out and he took it to the level of wanting to call. Maybe I just hate being blown off.

Two in the morning I get a reply. "I'm sooo sorry. Can I call u now?"

Are you kidding? I told him I was asleep, that I'd talk to him later. He called twice yesterday, though I didn't answer. I'll call him back today, though now I'm kind of over the whole thing.

Just wanted my friend back, not all the drama that I can foresee coming with it.

Lighter post tomorrow, I promise :).

Blame It on the Beer

"Every path hath a puddle." ~ George Herbert, 'Jacula Prudentum'

Yesterday I met my girl Goldie for drinks at our usual spot in town. She and I get along very well, but it's a rare treat to get to hang out with her without the spouses around. We talked for hours over cold beer and pizza, watching the sun set as our happy hour turned into an all-nighter. It was nice to finally open up to her, and I could tell she felt the same way. We chatted about everything, from old boyfriends to current inlaws, and never skipped a beat.

I was in a slightly reminiscent -- and slightly intoxicated -- state when we finally left. Driving down the toll road, my mind began to wander back through our conversations, back to when we were swapping old boyfriend stories. I don't know if it was the song on the radio, my restless feelings for new adventures or the beer, but I had the sudden urge to reach out to an old friend / boyfriend of mine from years ago.

I met Getty through my sister before I graduated highschool. Long story short, we were fast friends, then dated, and when it didn't work out we became best friends. On occasion, when we'd both find ourselves single, our friendship went to the next level. To me, he's always been a part of my life as a dear friend. In his eyes, however, it was always soo much more. I guess I always knew that, just refused to see it. Getty always thought he and I would end up married, and has never approved of my boyfriends, especially J.

J and Getty don't really get along. Which is one reason Getty and I haven't really talked since I got married three years ago. The other reason being J knowing his feelings for me -- and I can totally understand why he's uncomfortable with that.

I ran into Getty at a ballgame early last year, and it was honestly nice to see him. And that was the last time I'd talked to him. Until last night.

I quickly texted a simple "I miss you". I just wanted him to know that I still think about him and hope he's doing well. As a friend. I didn't expect a reply.

Later, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed I had a new text. "I miss u too, Iz. Can I call u tomorrow?"

Dang it. Can open, worms everywhere. I should have known a simple text wouldn't be enough. But what's the harm in one phone call, right?

Case of the Mondays ... er, Tuesdays

For some reason, today feels like Monday. Maybe it's because I didn't get anything accomplished yesterday. Maybe it's because I'm getting a little bored in my job, and all the days seem like a "blah" day.

I'm trying sooo hard not to get burnt out at work. I couldn't ask for anything more -- great pay, flexible schedule, cool boss. But is that enough? Here lately, I've been craving something new, something more creative, something that might make a difference is this ginormous world.

Right now I'm supposed to be creating a 12-hour training class. But, instead, I'm sitting on the comfy leather couch at Legacy Books, sipping on a cold Diet Coke and blogging. Because I just can't find the darn motivation to get crackin' on my presentation. Seems like the story of my life here lately.

I've been at this job for almost two years now -- which is amazing considering I usually change jobs like I change shoes. Guess I'm just itching for something different.

But what?

Two-Five Cloth Giveaway

Kelly at Fabulous K is hosting an awesome giveaway for Two-Five Cloth shirts. Check out her blog to enter -- and happy Friday!

Defining Moments

"Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments." ~ Author Unknown

The other night, J and I nestled onto the couch and finally watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you watch it. It's a little weird. It's a little sad. It's a little long.

But it awakened something in me that I hadn't felt in awhile. That desire to live life without apology, to seek out what makes your soul truly happy, to find the courage to overcome the staleness in life and do something. It reminded me to not let go of who I once was and what once brought joy to my life. That age doesn't matter -- it's how you feel that defines who you are.

It may sound like the same ol' "seize the day" mantra that seems to flow superficially through life. But it is so much more than that, at least to me. There is soo much out there that I would love to do, love to experience. Why should I settle into a mediocre pattern in, well, Dullsville?

Doesn't matter who you are or where you are in life, you have the power to change it. To grasp that piece of this world that you cannot live without. New places, new faces -- I crave something to break this cycle of boredom that I seem to be stuck in. I methodically awaken each morning, dress, work, go through the paces of life. I just know there is soo much more to experience than I have been.

What happened to the girl who dreamed of living outside of her small world, taking every opportunity to learn, to experience, to see with her own eyes what others only read about? Still dreaming. Still waiting.

I leave you with my favorite passage from the movie -- read it, grasp it, live it. I know I'm going to try.

"It's never too late or ... too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

Hump Day

"The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished." ~ Author Unknown

Maybe because it's Hump Day, but I have the F-its weighing me down heavily. Soo much to get done, soo little care to do it. Think instead I'll turn my "To Do" list into my "I Don't Want To" list ... at least until tomorrow.

1. Clean the litter box
2. Fold laundry
3. Run
4. Finish my presentation for work
5. Bathe the dogs
6. Pay the mortgage
7. Schedule a dentist appointment
8. Call the water sprinkler repair guy
9. Shower

Hope you guys have more motivation today than I do!

Wishlist

With the temps in the 100s here lately, I'm soo ready for fall and everything that comes with it. Including cute boots. Found these vintage beauties on Etsy yesterday. If only they were my size ...