Bargain Crazed

"Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase." - Erma Bombeck

So yesterday hubby and I decided to do a little shopping. We needed (okay, wanted) a couple of things for our trip to Colorado this week but really didn't want to spend too much, so we headed to the local outlet mall. I know what you're thinking: outlet mall equals barren wasteland of last year's leftovers. But this outlet mall is different -- the list of fabulous stores includes Michael Kors, Neiman Marcus Last Call, Polo Ralph Lauren, BCBG, Coach and more.

Hubby wanted to check out Polo and get a couple of shirts. We should have known better than to go on a Saturday afternoon -- the crowd was horrible. Not to mention it was 103 degrees outside (seriously). We shuffled into Polo, along with half of the world's population, and began browsing through shirts. Too many colors, too many different styles, too many warm bodies -- hubby began to sweat.

I tried to be reassuring and shuffled with him to the dressing room, but as I waited outside I too succumbed to the chaos. I was bumped into by a group of silver-haired women ogling at packages of Polo boxer-briefs. I tried moving, only to do a Texas Two-step with a guy who wanted to literally touch every single pair of fleece pajama bottoms that were hung behind me. In the time it took hubby to try on four shirts, I was kicked by a five-year-old brat, run into with an oversized stroller, hit on by a guy half my age wearing shorts that hung to his ankles, watched a woman talk her hubby into buying neon yellow slacks, knocked over a display of over-priced ties and was sneezed on by at least three people.

When hubby finally came out of the dressing room, I was huddled in a corner sweating and ready to chew my own arm off just to get out of there. Twenty minutes later (yes, that's how long it took us to pay for the darn shirts) we were free. But I began to wonder -- were people there because they truly loved the product, or were they merely suckered into the bargains?

Sidenote: I did find some super cute (and comfy!) hiking shoes in the Columbia store. Eh, guess every cloud has a silver lining ...