Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Whiff of Unemployment

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B." ~ 'Fats' Domino

This morning I received a "corporate letter" e-mail from the President and CEO of the food & beverage company I work for, announcing a realignment and semi-massive layoff. In an attempt to "streamline our business," the company will potentially be sending nearly 300 packing at my office.

Our building will be closed Thursday and, instead of working, we're all supposed to meet one-on-one with designated managers to find out if we've been canned. We are to receive notices today with explicit instructions on what time our individual appointment is, where to park, and where to vomit as we exit the building. I really hope the mail guy is wearing a jock strap.

I can't believe it really. Sure, the economy majorly sucks right now. But I never thought a Fortune 500 company of this magnitude would ever layoff employees at the company's Headquarters. But who am I kidding? Of course we'd be the first to go. The factory workers and sales team bring in the real money. The "fluff" we do at Headquarters doesn't really count for much. I mean, who needs marketing? Eh, screw product innovation and consumer research. And HR? Or even capability & training -- the team I work for -- who needs that crap, right? (And yes, I'm being totally sarcastic here.)

*sigh* I need to get dressed, stop by the office and pick up my Notice. But, instead, I'm sitting here in my pjs with tear-stained cheeks, trying to delay the inevitable. I suppose I could always wait tables at TGI Fridays, wearing my 30 pieces of flair and striped shirt while singing "Happy Birthday" to gramps.

I wonder what the productivity level will be at the office today with the smell of unemployment lingering in the hallways?


Kristi said...

omg. That sucks. I don't even know if there is another way to describe it.

My company seems fine, and there have been absolutely no rumblings, but with things going how they're going I'm always a little worried about my job security.

Miss Caught Up said...

Sorry to hear that... I know the feeling. :( Hopefully you won't be laid off?

FarmGirl said...

Awww MAN! That really bites! I am so sorry to hear about this. This whole economy thing is starting all kinds of "fires". Hang in there...you are a talented lady, it will work out!

Know that even though you don't know me, I pray for you and EVERYONE this is affecting! It is pretty intense/scary right now!

Be strong!

Sass said...

Ugh. I'm sorry you're going through this today.

Keep us posted, I'll be worrying about you!

You could always go my route with things. Quit working, put ads by google on your site, and make approximately 20 cents a day when someone clicks. ;)

I'm just sayin'.

KayakNej said...

That really blows.

Me! said...

Thanks for the well wishes everyone! I'll post an update in a bit. I'm thinking Google Ads may be the way to go, Sassy ;-)