Monday, January 5, 2009

Case of the Bulge

“A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.” ~ Lillian Day

I'm curled in my chair upstairs with a super warm Restoration Hardware blanket and my fuzzy slippers, trying to keep warm. One thing we've discovered about our new house is that it stays about as warm as a glacier in the Arctic Ocean, especially when it's 30 degrees outside like it is right now.

So J and I have been spending as much time upstairs as possible, following the whole "heat rises" theory. Mom even stocked us up on flannel sheets and fuzzy pjs for Christmas. Wonder if I can pawn those to help pay the gas bill?

I'm kind of dreading my Team run tomorrow night -- hopefully the wind and freezing rain will hold off for an hour. At least my Team run last Saturday was warm. And it had a slightly humorous start.

When the alarm went off at 5:45, I rolled out of bed, groggily made my way to the dryer to pull out some clean running pants, quickly dressed in the dark and hit the road. Hungry, I decided to stop at a gas station to get a Powerbar and some water.

As I was walking in the door I felt a bulge on my lower left leg. Irritated, I kept shaking my leg as I made my way to the Powerbars. I finally looked down to see a soft bulge sticking through my pant leg. What the hell? I grabbed a couple bottles of water and turned towards the front of the small store. Hands full of fake chocolate bars and bottled water, I gave my leg a final shake. And out flew a bright purple thong.

I guess it had gotten caught in my pant leg during the tumble in the dryer. I quickly sprang for the thong and -- not having any pockets or a purse -- relentlessly began shoving it back up my pant leg while trying to juggle my purchases. I caught the stare of the store clerk as I made my way to checkout. Judging by the size of her grin, I'm sure she was trying to decide whether I was a street hooker or just starting my walk of shame.

Blushing, I didn't bother to explain -- my mismatched outfit and raccoon eyes were sure to betray the truth. The plus side? At least I didn't have to dig for clean undies when I got home!

10 comments:

Mojito Maven said...

yep i definitely laughed out loud at this post!!

and I am proud of you for going for a run!! It is FREEZING outside!!

Lis said...

Hahahaha that definitely had me laughing too!! You rock for getting out there in that weather!! Awesome - good luck tom!

Miss Caught Up said...

LOL Sorry...

A very funny blog :)

J said...

Wow those are the moments when you just have to laugh! Good luck at the team run! Hopefully the weather will be good!

o2bhiking said...

LOL - well it was purple for TNT anyway. That is a funny tale.

Nej said...

Oh crap. Now the people walking by my office are looking at me strangely again. I let out a huge snort trying to not laugh too loud.

Erin said...

I walked around a whole morning with a panty hoe stuck to my pants.... hahahahaha funny stuff

David J. Hirsh said...

Let me tell you about the time one of my wife's bras fell out of my hockey socks. Luckily it was in the locker room before a game, but my team mates never let up the whole night....Until I bought the first two pitchers at the bar after the game.

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

You have a great attitude and/or gratitude! I left you an award on my blog!

NYStateBeauty said...

This is just hysterical!

I literally LOL'd!