Irrational Fear

"Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking, 'I'm gonna ki... ahh damn! She's under a blanket.'" ~ 9gag.com


J's been in Vegas this past week for work. So, baby and I had a LOT of time to bond.  At six months now, he's quite the squirmy little guy -- sit up, lay down, roll over, help stand, pet the dogs, throw the toys... not crawling, barely sitting and quite the squealer.  

I was dreading this week, but it went more smoothly than I could have ever thought possible. The worst part was after baby went to bed, sitting in this empty house allll alone, listening to every creak and wondering which door the {insert zombie, alien, axe murderer} would try to barge through. Yeah, so I have an over-active imagination.  

At some point I have to dig out my big girl panties so I don't pass my irrational fears onto baby. Which is definitely something I worry about.  All the time.  I sometimes think, "How did I get this way?" It cracks J up when I hear something outside in the middle of the night, and scooch closer to him or get up to lock the bedroom door. It's not like I watched a ton of scary tv when I was a kid.  Though, I do recall watching Poltergeist and X-Files. But other than that, it was all sunshine and rainbows.  

Maybe my parents just never taught me how to rationally deal with fear.  It was always, "That's silly, don't worry about that" or "That'll never happen" or "It's fake".  Fear was swept under the rug.  Feelings weren't dealt with, just told to go away.  I think I want to teach my boy that, while it might be silly to fear a certain something, here are some steps you can take to overcome that fear.  Or to help you deal with what you're feeling even if no one else understands. And if something terrible does happen, that I'll be there, fighting tooth and nail to protect him.  

Otherwise, he'll be 31 years old, hiding under the covers with all the lights on, the alarm set, the bedroom door locked, clutching his cell phone and wondering if he should turn on the news just incase something has come to over-take the world.

Not that that's what I've been doing the past few nights or anything...

Catching Up

Seems like life has been a whirlwind since my last real post in August of 2010:

• Road trip to Galveston with J
• Floated the Comal River with friends
• Had a little Cali adventure
• Celebrated 30th birthdays
• Got pregnant
• Watched J survive two layoffs with his company
• Had a beautiful baby boy
• Tried balancing working from home & taking care of Baby
• Almost got canned myself
• Quit my job

Guess that's about it in a {really big} nutshell. I feel like I'm finally starting to unwind a bit, and finally getting to enjoy Baby (and life) without the added stress of trying to juggle a conference call with a blowout diaper.  And a stressed out husband.  And a messy house.

So many stories, so little time.  Oh, wait.  Now that I'm a "Domestic Engineer" {ahem}, maybe I finally do have time.  

Whoop whoop!

Hello There

Testing, 1..2..3... Testing... Is this thing on?

Yep, I've decided to dust this thing off again. So many exciting changes since I last blogged. So many funny stories.  So many things I just need to empty out of my brain.  I'm sure that fly on the wall over there will be the only one reading this... ugh, he flew off.  Guess I'm just talking to myself now. 

Anyway.

I'm back!

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

"The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving any excuse." ~ Jules Renard

My neighbors -- the Spastics -- have been itching to have us over for dinner again soon.  Which has sent us into jump-in-the-car before they see us mode.  Not that I don't enjoy them as neighbors, it's just that their kids are a tad bit exhausting.  Or overwhelming.  Maybe both?

My heart goes out to them for being neighborly, and they're good people.  But after the first experience?  I'm a little hesitant.  You can read about it here.  

A Little of This, a Little of That

"The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up." ~ Anonymous

Well, I thought since it's been awhile, I'd catch up my old readers (bless you guys for sticking around!) and lay the foundation for new readers about what's been up lately.

I'll skip the boring, mundane diatribe about work. Still consulting. Blah.

Enjoying the new house. Though, now that we've been here almost two years, we're realizing how stupid we were to jump into 3000 sq feet. For two people. And two {crazy} dogs. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a bargain. Though I do miss the coziness of our old house, I don't miss the ghetto neighbors.

What else? Oh. I want a baby. Yeah, one of those crying, drooling, pooping messes that can turn your whole life around. Yep, one please. And the sooner? The better. We've been trying for about a year now. Thanks to some minor setbacks -- miscarriage included -- I find myself becoming slighting discouraged, slightly scared to try again. But that's a whoooole other post.

My friends are keeping me sane. Well, a couple are driving me crazy, but in general my life revolves around them. They're like my second family -- sometimes I wish they'd adopt me. As for my hubby's family? Sometimes I wish they'd just leave me alone. I'm just serious ... I mean kidding. Okay, maybe if his mother would just leave me alone, then I'd be golden. Even those stories are worth their own post. Someday.

I'm in the last few months of my twenties. I'm not nervous about it yet. I'm still not sure it'll feel any different than how I feel now. I mean, it's not like I'm 25 anymore. *sigh* To be 25 again. Now that was a sweet age. My favorite {so far} for soo many different reasons.

Anyway, that's about it. I'm sure everything else will reveal itself in due time...

I'm Back... I Think?

Hi. Hello. *blowing dust of the computer keys* Wow, it's been awhile! I know, I abandoned this baby awhile back. Like eons ago. But now? I think I want to come back. At least occasionally. Or sporadically. Or maybe a lot?

Guess I'll let life be the judge of that...

Pee-rivacy

"The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom." ~ Anonymous

Some days you wake up and you think the day is going to be awesome. Other days you wake up, step in cat vomit, and just know that it's only going downhill from there.

I was supposed to meet J for lunch at noon. When 12:20 rolled around and I was STILL stuck in my meeting, I texted him under the desk and told him to go ahead and order. Fifteen minutes later I drove like a banshee to the sandwich shop, only to find him still in line.

I motioned to him that I was going to make a pit stop and made my way through the crowded tables to the restroom. Now, instead of having a separate hall leading to the bathrooms, this place had a single men's door and a single women's door, right off the dining area. I knocked, entered and locked the door.

Sitting peacefully and wondering why I drank three sodas and a bottle of water this morning, the heavy door flew open. An older blonde lady -- apparently even more surprised than I was -- screamed bloody murder, causing everyone in the sub shop to look in our direction. Like a deer in headlights, I froze. After what seemed like an eternity, the door slammed shut.

Mortified, I finished my business, washed my hands and silently hoped a window would appear so that I could crawl my way out. No such luck. I opened the door to find the lady there. "Sweetie! I'm sorry but you should have locked the door!". I warned her that is was broken, as every eye in the place was stuck in our direction.

Even though it was colder than hell, I made J sit outside. Of course, he couldn't stop laughing. "It could have been worse", he joked, "at least you weren't taking a dump."

Way to see the positive, J.